I realized tonight

 I write to you, young men,
           because you are strong,
           and the word of God lives in you
and you have overcome the evil one.

Well I’m not strong.
and it will be a long while
           till I’ll be home again

This is too real. This is too sharp.
        It’s too close, all out of focus, I can only
        throw the script out the
             window watch the
        pages whisper
                          sharded shoulders
                               bent mouths

that’s it I’m leaving.
                  what I’m looking for isn’t here,
           and holding on is only
                          gouging bigger holes in everyone’s
God, I’m not giving up,
the draught of grace you let me
       is enough to keep me walking
but not enough
                       to let me stay.
(I have far to go.
              I’ll keep walking.

                                                                          I wont


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